There seem to be some serious misconceptions on the part of  sitters as to  what they may expect of a reading. When I say "sitters", I refer  to the  person coming for a reading. When I say "reading" I refer to  the  information that comes from the Reader, be he/she psychic,  astrologer, tarot  card Reader, tea- leaf Reader, psychometrist, medium or other  form of  communicant. When I say "him", that includes "her" as well. I  get to use  "HIM"  because I am the author. There are certain things a  sitter has the  right to expect from the Reader, and there are certain things  the Sitter has  no right to expect from the Reader. I think these should be made  perfectly  clear so that there is no misunderstanding.

 -  The Sitter has no right to make the Reader an authority for  him; no right  to make the Reader a  Guru or to make decisions for him. The  Reader is  merely a relay station passing on the information the Sitter  needs  to know.  However, if the Sitter insists on the Reader telling him what to  do and  making his decisions for him, and the Reader is ego-starved  enough to permit  this, then the Sitter deserves whatever happens!

 · The Sitter has no right to expect the Reader to tell him what  he wants to  hear. If he wants that he should go to an out-and-out charlatan,  a Madam  LaZonga, and not waste an honest Reader’s time which is better  spent helping  someone who needs it. A good, honest Reader, will not negate himself just to  please a sitter; the Reader is there to help, not to abet.

 · The Sitter has no right to expect the Reader to solve his  problems for him. One’s problems are usually of one’s own making and,  therefore, are the  responsibility of the Sitter. A Reader gives insights and other information  that may be needed by the Sitter to work through the challenge faced.  Allowing someone to run your life for you is really asking for it! Most have  trouble running their own life - and you want them to run yours?  You, my  friend, are the only who should be running your life and who  should set the standards for you.  To give an example, a woman recently came to me for a reading.  She left angry and disappointed. Why? I refused to tell her what to do, make her decisions for her, as her former Spiritualist Medium in another  state had.  She had expected the same from me.  It’s not my job to run  someone else’s  life - it is all I can do to run my own.

    Another example is a woman and her husband who came to me for a  reading.  She, too, was disappointed because the information that came  through was  something she did not expect - and certainly did not want to  hear. From what  transpired, I would have to say that the information was  entirely correct  and quite valid. She was a very controlling, demanding woman who  was trying  to control her dead son. He plead with her to please release  him, let go and  get on with her life. Her comment was, "My son would never speak  to me that  way!" Departing in less than a friendly manner, she probably  went off to  find a more accommodating  psychic/medium.

    Another area that seems to have many misconceptions is the are  of  "predictions". It seems that so many are anxious to have their  "future"  predicted - to hear that someone or something is going to make  it all well  for them. The question I often hear is, "Tell me my future." Too  many are so  focused on the future that they forget the present - which is  where we live.   What we do in the present, the decisions we make, the actions we  take, shape  the future - but how many believe this? The danger of taking  "predictions"  as the gospel is that one may focus so much on it that they lose touch with the present.  Yes, the intensity of the focus, which is like focusing this energy through a magnifying glass of anticipation, may well bring the prediction to pass BUT at a price that may b unpalatable.  It may not even be the best that could have been had.  We can change the future at any time  by simply changing direction, by changing ourselves. I know -  I’ve done it!  The future is not fixed. When a prediction is made it is made  according to the path one is on at the present. Now, since most people stay  in the same rut, painful and unhappy as it may be because to change would be too bloody  scary for most, predictions often then come true. However, should the person change or change direction, the prediction would not come true.  I do not  refer to "surface moves" which most do when they want to justify  their  avoidance of change, when I  say "change" I refer to a change at  the heart - and being - level. The fact is, WE determine our future. And all  the obstacles we face, all the people and events we are  experiencing, we have drawn subconsciously to ourselves for our testing and learning.  If you do not like where you are, or what is happening to you, you can  change it by changing direction. On the other hand, if you stay, then you are continuing  to play the role of "victim", a helpless chip tossed on the  waves of  misfortune. Yes, change is not easy. The prospect of leaving a  familiar path, as unrewarding, uncomfortable, painful as it may be, is so  frightening  that one tends to stay where one is rather than risk the  "unknown". We have  so little trust in ourselves, so little faith in our ability to  sustain the  change that we prefer to suffer with the known rather than  chance the  unknown. So you can see how easy it is for the psychic to make valid  predictions because while a person may make the "right" surface  moves, he  rarely changes direction at the "being" level where it counts.

    This preoccupation with predictions was quite apparent during  the radio and  TV shows I have done. Because I am a psychic and medium, the  first question callers would ask is, "What is my future?" or "Tell me my  future." What  people seem to think is that a psychic is merely a "fortune  teller" rather  than a practitioner of one of the psychic sciences. Are we still  in the Dark Ages?   It is true that there are many so-called "psychic  counselors" out  there who are fortune tellers and Madam LaZongas (Pay me and I  will take  your curse off!") and like genre. As I said previously, if you  are looking  for someone to run your life and tell you what you want to hear,  there are  plenty of charlatans willing to take as much money as they can scare out of  you - and you deserve what you get.

    Predictions may come as part of a reading. If there is a reason for the sitter to know what is ahead, then it will come out in the reading. Even so, whether the prediction comes true or not depends on what  decisions the sitter makes and what action (s) he takes. If you want to know  the future,  the most accurate and most qualified person to ask is yourself!

 This Earth  we live on is a school, a very important school in the Universe. During class (a lifetime) we are presented with many lessons to learn  through the  challenges we meet along the way, as per the curriculum we chose  before  coming to this school. Therefore, it is our responsibility to  work through  these challenges ourselves; it is avoidance of this  responsibility when we  try to get someone else to do it for us (like the Nerd down the  hall who  does, for a price, one’s homework, papers, etc.) How can we  possibly learn anything if we have someone do our homework for us. Life is a  continuous  series of tests and surprise quizzes, some hard, some easier  than others -  either way, we need to pay attention and learn. While there is  help  available in learning to handle these challenges (some call them  problems/disasters/tragedies/etc. - they are really challenges), clarifying internal conflicts, or identifying your weaknesses and strengths,  guidance, it is still you who must make the final decision, take the appropriate action.  That is your responsibility.

    Choices confront all of us each day and our future depends on what we chose.  Each choice has a consequence. "What is the right choice?", I  hear you ask.  There is no right or wrong choice. There is just choice. To be  sure, there  are unwise choices as well as wise choices. Yet each is as much  a learning  experience, and useful, as the other. How will you know, how  will you  understand if you have not experienced an unwise choice as well  as a wise one. Now, not to make a choice, and there so many that avoid  this like the  plague, is still making the choice of avoidance which often has  painful  consequences. If we do not pay attention, we will get  increasingly forceful reminders until it becomes so painful that we are willing to  face the  original challenge and work through it. This school, this stage as Shakespeare put it, is not easy. It is full of challenges,  alarms and  excursions (as Willie once wrote) but that’s the exciting part -  it also  offers  tremendous learning opportunities and a chance to evolve  spiritually.  THERE IS NO LIMIT TO LEARNING!  WOW!

 · The Sitter has a right to expect honesty. No psychic is up for a reading  ALL the time, especially when doing a volume business. A  psychic is not a  production line and trying to be one sometimes results in serious health consequences. A friend of mine tried giving far too many  readings because she felt these people "needed" her - and she almost paid for  this with her life. For any psychic there are times when nothing comes. At  that time the  Reader should tell the Sitter so and cancel the session rather  than fake it to fulfill expectations - or his pocket. Not to be honest is  unfair to both.

 · The Sitter has a right to expect that the information he  receives is exactly as the Reader picks it up - without editing or  alteration of any kind, or because of the Reader’s own belief system or judgment. The reading  belongs to the Sitter, not the Reader.

 · The Sitter has the right to tape the session, take notes, ask questions -  and disagree, if he wishes. I recall the time I had my first  reading and one of the things the Reader told me was that in nine months I would  be wearing blue jeans. Now, one does not tell a three piece suit  "establishment"  executive he is going to be a hippie! No way in Hell! And I told  him so. He  smiled. Imagine my surprise when ten months later I replayed  that tape and  realized that I was, indeed, wearing blue jeans! No, I was not a  hippie but  I had completely changed direction, left the business world and  embarked on a new fantastically rewarding adventure. I strongly urge all who come to me  for a reading that they tape it for few can remember everything  that is said. Another advantage of taping is that each time you play it, it seems  that there is something new you learned. I found that to be so.  Even a year  or two later playing the tape made some things abundantly clear  that were  not clear before. It is a great help. I believe that we are  given the  information we need at the proper time thorough whatever type of communication method that is available. It is given at the time  when we can not only handle it but also use it wisely.

 1. Don’t  go for a reading for fun and games, for kicks, or to  "test" the  psychic. That’s really wasting his time and yours.  He is there to help IF you need help. He is not there to play games.

 2. Do go if you really need help in sorting out what is  happening, or want  identification of problems you know are there  but can’t quite  put your  finger on them. The key to a valid  reading is NEED. A good  energy "bridge" or connection is  formed whenever there is a real need on the  part of the  Sitter, the there is a desire to help fill that need on the part  of the  Reader. However, the Sitter should know that  there is a big  difference  between a want to know and a need to  know. The  need is the  key, the want  is not. What one thinks they need may not be what they need. The Sitter must  be  honest with himself first.

 3. Don’t  expect the Reader to solve all, or even part, of your problems, tell you what to do, or run your life. That’s not  what he is there for. If you find one like that you may also have found another  Jim Jones or Charles Manson, and you will deserve what you get.

 4. Do  expect that information you need, at that point in time, to help you  identify and work through the challenges you  are facing.  However, remember  that Readers are not omnipotent nor infallible (not even the  Pope is that) and it is  your responsibility, and yours alone, to verify the  validity of  the information you receive no matter what the "source" is  claimed to be.  You are the SOLE judge. Your "gut" feeling, if you will pay  attention to it,  will let you know if the  information is valid or not. It is  interesting to  note that every person that ever came to me for a reading,  already knew  the  answers, the information. They needed the confirmation and  reinforcement the  reading gave them. A common  phrase has been, "I already knew,  but I needed  confirmation. Thank you so much!"  Isn’t it amazing how little we trust ourselves, how little self-confidence we have?

 5. Don’t go for a reading with preconceived notions of what the Reader is  going to tell you, or what you want to hear. The opposite might  happen. The  Reader is supposed to tell it like it is - not like you wish it  were.   Keep  an open mind  and work with the Reader if you want to get the  most out of  it.

 6. Do go for a reading if you need a healing to cope with inner pain and sorrow, a helping hand in dealing with  inner/outer  emotions/conflicts.

 7. Don’t  choose a Reader because he is "famous"  (yet is  willing to give  you a reading for only $20.00 - lot of those ones around  according to  multitude of mail "offers " I get), or that he maintains fancy offices (big overhead requires volume business), or has a wall full of  "diplomas" or  like, or bills himself as 100% accurate, superior, amazing -  well, you know  what I’m saying. The quality of a Reader is not what he says he  is but what  he is inside at the being level. Then, too, not every Reader, no matter how good or accurate he is, is right for everybody.

 8. Do choose a Reader because you feel comfortable with him, because you  feel trust at your gut level. You will know, and  if that person  is not  right for you, do not feel badly about saying you are sorry but  the energies  are not right. If his ego is a bit bruised by this, remember  that this is  his problem, not yours. Your best method of finding the right  Reader in the  right communication mode, be it a psychic, astrologer, card  reader,  psychometrics, medium, tea leaf reader, is for you to relax and  allow your  intuition/gut feeling to take over and guide you.

One final point to remember. The Reader, of whatever discipline, only serves as an info line to your soul. If you get a wrong number, it may be that you mis-dialed. So be sure of your number before you call. Be sure  you validate  the information given you with your gut feeling/your gnosis.  DON’T,  whatever way you go, GET CAUGHT UP IN THE MECHANICS OF THE  PROCESS!  It does not matter by what means the information comes to you or who  gives it. What does matter is the quality, validity and usefulness of the  information given  - as it pertains to YOU.   The Reader is there to help you help yourself so  your cooperation will greatly enhance your reading. Readers are  like phones  - they work best when properly used.

Copyright © 1995-2004 Donna Kent/Cosmic Calendar.